Subject: Busted From: Sailor Jim Johnston Date: 1999/06/22 Newsgroups: alt.callahans Sailor Jim looks up from his med diary with a wry grin. “Okay, I guess I’m feeling better. I just embarrassed myself and didn’t end up in a major depression because of it. “I was up on the second floor, heading to pull some journals for this up-coming binding run, when I noticed some incredible cleavage. This young lady was reading a text book, both elbows on the table and head being supported by her hands. Her forearms and neck formed a tripod and her breasts were all but laid out on the table for inspection. She was wearing something scoop necked and I only got a flash of dark tanned skin suddenly billowing into white mounds … and I was past. “I stumbled, slightly, and made a silly decision on … Read entire article »

Subject: The Difference Between … From: Sailor Jim Johnston Date: 1999/06/17 Newsgroups: alt.callahans ” … the words ‘Dedicated’ and ‘Committed’ is that I am dedicated to not being committed, again.” Sailor Jim is sitting at his usual table, a small vial of pills in front of him. “The VA doctors, on the other hand, had their own agenda. After my initial interview, with Dian filling in the rough spots for me, I was taken to be tested and Dian was tested where she sat. They tested me for the depth of my illness and her for the depth of her judgment. “They attempted to convince her to commit me, you see.” SJ takes a sip of his straight Diet Coke and toys with the pills. “Does anyone here know the difference between being committed to a mental ward and being … Read entire article »

Subject: On Teaching Pigs to Whistle From: Sailor Jim Johnston Date: 1999/06/03 Newsgroups: alt.callahans Sailor Jim walks in and tacks a message to the bulletin board. It’s a posting he left at an Australian web site, one dedicated to stopping *their* government’s web governing bill. It’s entitled, “Condolences, in Advance.” **** One should never attempt to teach a pig to whistle … it wastes time and just annoys the pig. Trying to reach the common man with facts — and who is more common than the politician, eh? — is like teaching pigs to whistle. If this wasn’t true, people would know to eat less and send their surplus to the less fortunate, stop trying to fill the world with their children, turn off the damn telly and read, and maybe even come to the realization that only thing one can do with a gun is … Read entire article »